Waltz #2 (XO), Elliott Smith

First the mic, then a half cigarette

多年前在一個朋友的家中，整個公寓昏暗，只點上一盞幽暗的黃，映著杯中的酒紅。空氣中淡淡的香煙飄渺，音樂瀰漫。無意義的言語，無意義的動作，讓眼神間更加的煽情。我微微地笑著，看著另一雙眼，想找到任何無意義的話題掩飾我的手足無措。廚房裡的鍋中物正緩緩達到炊點，我的心卻早已沸騰冒泡。

She appears composed
So she is, I suppose
Who can really tell?

Waltz #2 (XO) 三節拍的小鼓從音箱裡四平八穩地旋出時，我全身起了雞皮疙瘩。從高腳椅上下來，我緩緩地靠近。我們的眼神裡都多了些東西，像跳waltz，距離越來越接近，我感受到他的鼻息吹在臉上。雙頰漲紅，未飲先醉。沒有言語，他的胸口如此溫暖。

I'm here today, expect it to stay on, and on, and on
__________________________________________________

Elliott Smith一生耽溺酒精和毒品，長期受到憂鬱症的困擾，他死的時候，才34歲。關於他的死因傳聞各異，但是相同點是：他往胸口上次了一刀（或兩刀），倒於加州自宅。他的歌總是充滿畫面，一種陰暗的調子。我喜歡重複播放這首歌，像治療某種難耐的哀愁。



Waltz #2 (XO)

First the mic, then a half cigarette
Singing Kathy's clown
That's the man she's married to now
That's the girl that he takes around town
She appears composed
So she is, I suppose
Who can really tell?
She shows no emotion at all
Stares into space like a dead china doll

I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow

Now she's done, and they're calling someone
Such a familiar name
I'm so glad that my memory's remote
'Cos I'm doing just fine hour to hour, note to note
Here it is, the revenge to the tune
You're no good, you're no good, you're no good, you're no good
Can't you tell that it's well understood?

I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow

I'm here today, expect it to stay on, and on, and on
I'm tired, I'm tired
Looking out on the substitute scene
Still going strong
XO Mom
It's OK, it's alright, nothing's wrong
Tell Mr. Man with impossible plans
To just leave me alone
In the place where I make no mistakes
In the place where I have what it takes

I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow
I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow
I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow